Can’t move on from the fact that we are no longer in high school, happy with street foods.

Can’t move on from the fact that people slip away from your life.

Can’t understand why life needs to be so fast-paced after college.

Can’t comprehend why, or how, but I know that I need to come up with its pace.

I’d been a spoiled child and now, oh well now, I can’t even spoil myself.

Been a depending child and now, I need to depend on myself.

Always thought that I will never change, but my life did.


Can’t Come Up With a Title

I don’t know if it’s because I’m sad and mad (as always) or because I’ve been clean for nine months now, but I’m dying to have another cigarette again.

My withdrawal from smoking didn’t came abrupt. I lessened my consumption from 3 sticks each lunch break, 1 in the morning and 1 after work to 1 each day, as I remember.

Nevertheless I occasionally dream of smoking. Yes, I dream about smoking. Probably because smoking was a thing I wanted to try when I was younger but I didn’t do and them some things fucked up my life after college so I tried it.

I tried it and I love every puff of it.

Maybe smoking is like those things in life you’ve always wanted, got them, freed them, and ended up wanting them again.

Maybe smoking is like those things you didn’t do any wrong to, but end up in your dreams, even if you’re wide awake.

Smoking is like those things you love but haunts you.

Like you.


2:25 AM GMT+8

I just had myself a registration form for organ donation. I know that the next of kin’s permission would still be prioritized but I would like to say that that decision is purely voluntary. At least here in my blog, it would be publicly published and people who know me can check out the authenticity anytime.

It’s not that I’m dying, or I’m planning to commit suicide. Few years ago I decided that before I return to dust and fertilize the plants, (yep you read that right, I’m also planning to make my ashes fertilizer when I die), it’s good if other people or science would benefit from whatever can be beneficial left from me.

I’m not afraid of dying, but the pain and sadness that comes with it- yes. I realized that we don’t hold any secured time so we have to make do of what we got. I hope to be beneficial for others someday, but I hope it will be not soon! 😅


Some Days

Some days I’m an evil choosing to love

And some days I’m an angel giving in to her lusts.

Some days I ask myself if life would be worthwhile in the end

Then there are days I just want to be mended.

Some nights I rock myself to sleep

Some I wait for the answer of the stars up.

Some days I let fear consume me

Some days I consume my fear.

Some days I choose love

Some I wish love choses me.


I and my girlfriend visited Brgy. Pansol, Calamba, Laguna last August 26-28. Pansol is known for their hot springs.

From Cubao, Metro Manila, we rode a bus and the travel time to Pansol was no longer than 2 hours. We didn’t have reservations.

We chose a place wherein the hot spring is natural and free-flowing. Some resorts or pool in Pansol offer hot spring, but don’t come from natural sources. The Laguna Hot Spring Resort is one of the oldest resort in the area, tracing its roots since 1949.

There are also fishes in the pool which eat your dead skin cells. Careful, though, you might be surprised!

Our room rate was Php 1,800, for two, during our 24 hour stay. You can visit the resort and pay Php 100 if you just want to swim. There are available rooms and cottages if you want.

Near the resort is a market. The prices of food are not high. For Php 69, you can enjoy a whole box of super cheesy pizza. You can also buy liquor and enter it to the resort. Note that you should only drink or eat in your room or cottage.

The warm water really calmed me. It’s best to dip around 3 am to 6 am where little to no other visitors are around. We had floated using the ladder in the middle of the source of the hot spring, which is in the left side of the pool if you’re coming from the entrance. The pool may appear to be black because of the sand and stones beneath.

The staff are not that friendly, and they even forgot to bring us our blanket.

Overall, I will rate my stay as 4/5. The hot spring was, again, so relaxing and rejuvinating. I’ll definitely come back!


Zambales: Ocean with Black Sand

Here are some pictures when I visited Zambales, Philippines. Zambales is about five hours drive from Manila. The province, located in Central Luzon, is known as the “Wreck Diving Capital of the Philippines”. A storm was in the vicinity when we went to Zambales which resulted to higher waves and more powerful winds. Nevertheless, the ocean is both terrifying and beautiful, with black beach surrounding it.